Last spring I had my head ready for him going to K this fall 1/2 day, then in May something got passed where everyone could get full day for free (it was an option before, but very expensive). I thought it was a state wide thing, but I've talked to several that confirm that is not true. What matters is it does effect us. So all summer we've been trying to get ready for this day (mentally and emotionally for me). I'm not there yet. Yesterday I was trying to be excited for Gabe trying to get him excited and he kept saying he would miss us because he wouldn't ever get to see us. He was under the impression that full day ment from the time he got up to the time he went to bed I guess. So I explained to him that it was only until nap time (Caleb's nap time, he no longer gets a nap). He gets home at 2:40, which if you really think about it really isn't that late. When the full day option came up we seriously considered taking him back to the school where he went to preschool. We all loved that school (it goes through 8th grade) they have 1/2 day 1st semester and full 2nd semester, but it's a Catholic School and expensive. Nothing against it being Catholic at all, we loved that he was getting a religious education too, but some of the Catholic things don't really transfer to Presbyterian and knew we eventually would go to the public schools so might as well now so he could make the friends, ect. As for the expensive part there were ways around that also, but we decided against it.
So back to him being excited. Last night they had a meet the teacher night, that's what did it. He got to go in his classroom and meet his teacher. She sang with them and read them a story so the parents could sign a bunch of forms. He was hooked after that. He didn't want to leave the room last night. He said he's going to be a big helper to his teacher. So my last fear for today was him getting on that giant yellow bus! Gabe sometimes has issues with new situations. He's gotten a lot better as he's gotten older, but this is one that I knew could go either way. He could be very excited and jump on and not even look back, or the bus could pull up and open the door and he'd freak out and cry. Luckily the 1st is what happened more or less. When the door opened he hesitated and looked back at me and asked, "Will you walk me up to the door, Mommy?", so I did. There were several others at our bus stop, so I think that may have helped. He followed them onto the bus with no problem, picked a seat, and smiled at me and waved. No tears...from him anyway. I was very held together for him, but as soon as I got in the house the flood gates opened up.
I'm excited that he's excited and I know he was pretty bored around the house the last few weeks, so he's gonna love learning new things. I'm excited that they learn to start reading in K now! He's so ready for that. He's been able to sound out some things for months now, so I know he'll pick up reading pretty quickly.
My sadness, like most moms, is feeling like he's growing up too fast. Just yesterday it seems we brought him home from the hospital having no idea what we were doing! Didn't sleep for a month it seemed, and finally got into a routine that worked for everyone. It's true that some days he drives me crazy with all the questions, fighting with his little brother, not listening to me, but that's life with little kids. I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. I know we get them for a very short amount of time where they think we know everything and do what we say (for the most part) and we are able to help mold them into good people. I pray we have brought him up right and happy and that he will be a good boy when he's not with me. By him going to school full day I feel a little out of control. I mean, I feel like I don't control what he does daily now. Someone else gets to do that for most the day. We've been the primary influences in his life since birth, that's how we wanted it, that's why we've sacrificed a lot so I could be as much a stay at home mom (SAHM) as possible. We've been so blessed that we have my Mom and Dad so close to watch them when I do have to go to work, and occasionally Mike's parents, Julie, and Candy, too.
It's funny to think about now, but I never thought I'd be a SAHM. I always thought I'd be a "career" girl. That's why we waited to have kids until after all my schooling was complete. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to have the career I wanted after having kids. I never wanted to regret not finishing school first (violin making school, that is). It wasn't until I was pregnant with Gabe that Mike and I talked about it and I felt an extreme "calling" (I guess that would be the right word) to try and stay at home while our kids where young. So we cut our budget down to the bare bones and were able to make it work with me just working 2 days a week. In the beginning, of course, I had high hopes of making violins at home while Gabe played or napped. Didn't work out that way, he demanded a lot of my undivided attention from the start. And then Caleb came along and I decided to not worry about the violin making until they are in school when I have "me" time again. If I can work it in now that it's just Caleb and me at home during the day that would be great. Otherwise, I'll just become that world famous violin maker once my kids are both in school. :P Although, any money that could have come in from that business would have been so helpful NOW! Oh well.
In all of this, I don't want to forget to say how excited I am about the one on one time Caleb and I will now have. It's only the 1st day and I've already seen how his personality shines through when it's just him! He's made me laugh so much today! It's awesome! I just have to get through the transition period and I'll be fine. We're going to have so much fun! (and maybe I'll get him potty trained soon, too!)
That's enough of my emotional Mommy ramblings for now.
